I've gotten
several emails asking questions like, "Should I pay
for dates?" and "How do I avoid paying for dates?" The
answer that I'm going to propose is almost misleading
in its simplicity, but hey... those are my favorite
kind...
DON'T GO OUT ON
"TRADITIONAL DINNER DATES" ANYMORE.
See, if you
don't go out on "take her out to dinner" dates
anymore, then you won't have to deal with paying for
them. Profound, I know. Please, hold the
applause. Let me explain this a little more... A
lot of good research suggests that women think men,
who are potential mates, fall into one of two
categories. I call these categories "Lover" and
"Provider". If you've read my book "Double Your
Dating" then you will recall that one of the three
free bonus reports was dedicated to this topic.
The basic idea
goes like this: In a "traditional" boy-meets-girl
situation, the girl makes a decision early on whether
you're the type of guy that she should get physically
involved with quickly (spelled A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N),
or if you're of the "nicer" type (spelled W-U-S-S-Y)
that would be glad to "prove" yourself to her by
paying for lots of expensive dates, buying flowers,
etc. I realize that I'm generalizing here, and
that I'm being a bit extreme... but I'm making a
point, so go with me. A very common approach
that men use is the old "Can I take you out sometime?"
line. At first glance, it sounds innocent
enough. It has the ring of "I'm a nice guy, and
I'd like to take you to dinner so I have a chance to
get to know you better" to it, right? Well, it
may seem that way at first glance, but let's get a
little deeper into what ELSE you're saying when you
ask a question like this one (or start off by paying
for dinner, etc.). Here are a few of the OTHER
LESS OBVIOUS things that you're saying when you offer
to "take a woman out".
1) You're
starting off the relationship RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING
by offering to buy something for her, and more
importantly YOU'RE SETTING AN EXPECTATION. In other
words, when you do this, you're setting an expectation
that you're going to do this from NOW ON.
2) You're subtly
saying, "I feel like I need to use a bribe to get you
to see me again". I'm sure that men have been bribing
women with food and gifts since the dawn of our
species. Does this sound far-fetched to you? Check out
how our closest relatives, the chimps use food to
persuade females to have sex with them. No, really.
3) Once you
"take a woman out" and prove to her beyond the shadow
of a doubt that you like to pay for things, you set a
whole series of other subconscious expectations in
place. Without going into detail, most of these
other expectations will only lead her thinking of you
in the "nice guy" category, and costing you time and
money that you might as well have thrown down a rat
hole.
4) By going out
to a typical nice restaurant setting, you start a
whole chain of events that often leads to two people
looking at each other over a candle, in a loud room
full of other people, with a typically uncomfortable
"OK, so tell me about yourself and don't ask me too
many personal questions please" look on your faces.
I don't know about you, but this just isn't my idea of
a good time.
So, what's the
alternative? Thought you'd never ask... By the
way, if you have NOT read my ebook "Double Your
Dating"... and the three bonus books that come along
with it, then you need to go and download those RIGHT
NOW.
Now then... As I
said earlier, the first thing you might consider doing
is NOT ASKING WOMEN "OUT" ANYMORE. Instead, just
say, "Do you have email?" If she does, hand her a pen
and say, "Great, write it down for me." Then, follow
up by inviting her to join you for a cup of tea and
some stimulating conversation. Here's an example email
for you: "Hi, it was fun talking yesterday... I'm
thinking that we should get together tomorrow for a
cup of tea and some stimulating conversation. You seem
like you might make a nice friend."
Then, if you're
REALLY cheap, show up 5 minutes late so she buys her
own tea and is waiting for you. You can even say, "How
inconsiderate of you... where's mine?"
Here's the key:
IF YOU WANT TO BE A MAN THAT SHE FEELS ATTRACTION FOR,
THEN QUIT ACTING LIKE ALL THE OTHER GUYS THAT TRY TO
BUY HER ATTENTION WITH FOOD AND GIFTS.
Use the
techniques that you're learning from me to be Cocky &
Funny, keep her laughing, and generally bust on her to
increase the ATTRACTION level. If you buy
a woman enough dinners, she may begin to feel some
AFFECTION for you... but food and gifts will never
lead to ATTRACTION. Big difference. Now, knowing
how to avoid buying women dinners and gifts is only a
small piece of the puzzle. You obviously need to know
how to get a woman to be interested enough to date you
in the first place before you can NOT take her out on
a date!
Well, as you can
probably imagine, I've spent a lot of years now
figuring out how to become the kind of guy that women
want to be around. I've spent a lot of time
watching guys who are what you might call "Naturals"
with women. I've spent a lot of time trying out
just about every imaginable idea and strategy with
women... And guess what? Most of them SUCKED.
Most of them didn't work. Most of them felt
strange and manipulative. Most of them were just
plain not good. After trying all this stuff and
feeling around in the dark for quite a long time, I
started to realize that my problem wasn't the
TECHNIQUES I was using, it was the way I was
approaching things.
You see, I
hadn't really taken the time to understand women and
the psychology of dating and attraction. I was
just trying to learn tricks, hoping that they would
magically fix everything for me.
Well, they
didn't. But, what DID fix things for me, and
what did wind up leading me to fantastic success with
women and dating, was learning what I call the "Inner
Game"... then going on to learn techniques that
supported this new perspective. In my "Advanced Dating
Techniques" program, I spend several HOURS teaching
you this very special perspective and understanding...
so that you will have the only pair of 3-D glasses...
while everyone else has no idea what's going on.
I highly recommend that you get yourself a copy of my
"Advanced Dating Techniques" CD/DVD program.
It is literally
JAM PACKED with hundreds of concepts and step-by-step
techniques for meeting women, dating women, and taking
things to a "physical level" smoothly... and with a
minimum amount of rejection and failure.
Go here to get
the details and to check out a few great free samples:
