There is one critical mistake that
almost all
men make with the women that they're
REALLY
attracted to.
This particular mistake is at the root
of so
many different problems that men run
into, that
the topic probably deserves a book to be
written
about it alone.
That mistake is allowing yourself to
become
OVERLY EMOTIONAL around a woman at the
wrong time
and screwing up the great situation that
you have,
by revealing the fact that you're out of
control.
When most of us guys see an attractive
woman
that we'd like to meet, we FREAK OUT,
become very
nervous, and literally become
IMMOBILIZED.
This is a case of not being able to
control
your EMOTIONS.
When most of us guys have the phone in
hand,
and we're getting ready to call a girl
to ask her
out, we FREAK OUT, and again, we become
so nervous
that we're IMMOBILIZED.
This is another case of not being able
to
control your emotions.
When most of us guys think that it might
be
time to KISS a girl, we FREAK OUT.
When a woman won't call back, we get
upset.
When a woman tests us by challenging
something
we say, we become nervous and unsure.
The point I'm making here is that if you
allow
yourself to become TOO emotional in
situations
with women, it will screw you up.
Guaranteed.
It's happened to all of us many times,
and it's
a UNIVERSAL experience.
But wait a minute.
Emotions are GOOD THINGS, aren't they?
Aren't emotions the thing that allow us
to
really ENJOY life?
And isn't it wrong to try to "control
how you
feel"? Isn't it better to just "be who
you are"
and not try to beat yourself up because
you feel a
certain way?
Have you ever heard a woman (or a man)
say "I
can't help the way I feel"...?
We all have.
We even have TERMS that we use to
describe when
we're overly upset and just need to "get
it out".
We call it "venting" and such.
The implication here is that in our
modern 21st
century society, it's OK to be upset, to
get
emotional, and to show how you feel...
But is this always true?
TWO KINDS OF EMOTIONS
I think that emotions come in "two
flavors".
There are those that you could consider
"positive" emotions or those based in
"joy", and
there are "negative" emotions or those
based in
"fear".
In other words, there are the emotions
that
make you "feel good" and emotions that
make you
"feel bad".
In addition, we all know that emotions
aren't
like on/off switches.
In other words, when you feel an
emotion, you
usually feel an AMOUNT of it. Maybe it's
just a
little, or maybe it's very strong.
But the reality is that when an emotion
starts
to become too strong, it literally TAKES
OVER your
mind and body.
In some situations, this can be a very
powerful
POSITIVE thing for a person.
Imagine your favorite musician or actor
giving
a world-class performance... you can
literally
FEEL the emotions they're feeling. It
can be an
amazing experience when they allow their
emotions
to take over.
But it can also be a very powerful
NEGATIVE
thing as well.
Like when you're looking across the room
at a
beautiful woman you'd like to talk to
and you
become so nervous that you make yourself
sick.
Emotions can actually CONTROL you.
And when an emotion becomes so strong
that it
actually DOES "take over", you're out of
control.
Remember that.
Before I tell you more, I want to
mention one
thing: If you have a lot of problems
controlling
your emotions, or you find that your
emotions
take over and cause you to screw things
up with
women, then go and read this right now:
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Strong emotions also create strong
MEMORIES.
We tend to remember things better if we
were
feeling a strong emotion when they
happened.
I can remember so many situations where
I was
too nervous to talk to a girl, or too
nervous to
ask her out, or whatever.
I can remember situations TWENTY YEARS
AGO
vividly... where I was so nervous in the
situation
that the emotion burned the image into
my mind.
When this kind of thing happens a lot
(like it
has with me), it starts to make a
"feedback loop".
In other words, most of the strong
memories I had
about women were situations where I
SCREWED UP...
so I had less and less confidence as the
years
went by.
Give me a little silent nod here if you
know
what I'm talking about.
CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS
I'm sure you've already figured out that
I'm
going to suggest that you learn how to
control
your emotions in situations with women.
Let me talk for a moment about the
reasons WHY
it's important to do this.
Remember, when it comes to ATTRACTION,
all of
the "normal" rules change.
You have to stop thinking about what
you've
learned about being a "nice guy" and
realize
that a woman's ATTRACTION isn't
triggered by you
being "nice".
So I have TWO good reasons why you need
to
learn how to control your emotions
around women:
1) If your emotions take control early
on, you
probably won't even be able to talk to
her, call
her, or ask her out. You'll just be too
freaked
out to even make your first move.
2) Women aren't ATTRACTED to guys who
let their
emotions control them all the time. This
is
ESPECIALLY true when the guy acts like a
WUSSY.
We talked about the first reason
already.
Let's talk about the second one.
Why don't women like guys who are
overly-
emotional Wussies?
Because women NEVER feel ATTRACTION for
men
that they can CONTROL.
The more control a woman has over you,
the less
ATTRACTION she feels for you.
The less of a CHALLENGE you are, and the
more
PREDICTABLE you become, the less
ATTRACTION she
feels. It's very simple.
To put it another way; if you're the
type of
guy who lets his emotions TAKE OVER,
then you need
to learn how to control them.
If you don't, you're going to have a
VERY hard
time succeeding with women.
THE FIRST STEP...
I think that the first step in learning
how to
control your STRONG emotions is to
realize how
they're triggered.
Most strong emotions are TRIGGERED.
Something happens that "pushes a button"
inside
of you and BAM!... the emotion happens
before you
even have a chance to think about it.
But the fact is that these "triggers"
have a
structure to them.
There are all kinds of little things
that
happen during that "trigger".
One of the biggest insights that I've
had about
these "triggers" is that they're usually
caused by
making something that happens MEAN
something.
In other words, it's not the actual
situation
itself that "pulls the trigger" or
"pushes the
button"... it's what you think it MEANS.
For instance, let's say that you've met
a cute
girl, gotten her number, and called her
on the
phone... she wasn't home, so you left a
message
for her.
She doesn't call back.
What do we, as guys, usually think?
"Maybe she doesn't like me. Maybe she
has a
boyfriend. Maybe she's trying to avoid
me. If I
call her again, maybe she'll reject me."
In other words, we make the fact that
she
didn't call back MEAN all these
different things.
Another HUGE insight I've had in this
area is
that us guys allow our imaginations to
take over
and imagine the WORST possible outcomes
of
situations.
Then we get nervous about that outcome
happening and we FREAK.
For instance... have you ever seen a
girl that
you wanted to approach... but all you
could
imagine was her REJECTING you?
Or you were with a woman on a date, and
you
wanted to kiss her... and all you could
imagine
was her getting upset or pushing you
away?
Don't worry, we all do it.
The point is that most of us guys use
our minds
to imagine the WORST possible outcomes
for
situations... and it pushes all the
wrong buttons,
and gets us all nervous and upset...
which, of
course, makes us screw everything up.
When it comes to women, it's important
that you
lose the need to make everything MEAN
something...
and STOP imagining the worst.
Think about those situations when a
woman
doesn't call you back... or plays hard
to get.
As guys, we immediately start to wonder
where
she is... what she's doing... and who
she's with.
We make up pictures in our minds of her
out with
other guys, doing fun things without us,
etc. and
we let it upset us.
Bad idea.
This is the kind of thing that makes us
do all
KINDS of stupid, Wussy things that scare
women
away... like calling 100 times a day,
asking where
she was and what she was doing, etc.
Instead, start doing yourself a favor
and:
1) Imagining the BEST possible outcome.
2) Making things mean something GOOD.
If she doesn't call you back, imagine
that she
probably didn't get the message (maybe
her
roommate erased it), and make it mean
that when
she finally DOES hear from you, she's
going to be
even MORE interested because it took you
so long
to call her.
If she plays hard to get, realize that
she's
only doing that because she REALLY likes
you...
and that it's almost inevitable that
you're going
to get together with her.
Does this stuff sound strange?
Well, I'll tell you something...
All of the guys I know who are the BEST
with
women think this way. This is how their
minds
operate.
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I used to be VERY negative. I thought
that
every situation was going to go wrong,
and that
everything women did meant that they
somehow
didn't like me.
It's taken me awhile, but I've changed
my own
thinking so it's now more positive and
optimistic.
And guess what?
Now women are FAR more attracted to me.
In fact, it's almost like magic. The
more I
expect things to go well, the better
they go. Try
it, it works.
Also, start noticing those particular
things
and situations that trigger your
"overpowering"
emotions.
Learn to spot the signs that it's about
to
happen, and then learn how to keep
yourself cool,
calm, and collected.
If you can learn how to do this, your
success
with women will improve DRAMATICALLY.
Now, this is just the tip of the
iceberg, so to
speak.
It's also important to learn how to
improve
your self image, overcome FEAR, maintain
your
physical composure, and communicate
using your
body language... so that you're
successful in each
situation with women.
Where can you learn every one of my best
personal techniques for this stuff?
Try my Advanced Dating Techniques
program.
In that program I'll teach you all of
the
techniques that I use personally to get
these
areas under control... and to take each
situation
that you find yourself in with women and
turn it
into a success.
You'll learn step-by-step techniques and
systems that you won't find ANYWERE
else. I
guarantee it.
If you REALLY want to learn some
powerful
techniques for controlling your emotions
around
women, then this is the way to learn
them.
All the details are here, along with
some great
free video preview clips:Click Here