Why is it that a woman who is only
interested in the funny, cocky and challenging (i.e.,
interesting) men, later in life tries to raise
sons that are sweet, thoughtful and "nice"? (i.e.,
run of the mill)!! WS New York
is a VERY interesting question, and I'm glad
you emailed me to ask it. I'm
going to give you my personal take on this. But,
more importantly, I'm going to talk about how these
kinds of paradoxes exist right in plain sight
all around us... and how to interpret them so you
can increase your own personal success with women
answer your question first... I've
spent a lot of time researching this topic,
and doing a lot of personal testing to see if I
could find some answers. Right
now, as I write this, I think that it goes
like this: "Being
Nice" in the way that you're describing,
usually means things like: giving compliments, buying
gifts, providing food, doing favors,
tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending to be in
a good mood even if you're not, etc. I
believe that this is mostly a SOCIALLY and
CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of "rules". There may be
some "hard wiring" in us that makes us
"naturally" want to do nice things for women so
they'll give us approval, but I think it's mostly
PROGRAMMED into us... Now,
think about it this way: These "nice" things
are typically very FEMININE things to do... So,
what's a mom in today's culture going to teach
her son? Of
course... how to be "nice" to girls. And,
what if there's no dad around to help out in the
"training" of a son? You guessed it... even MORE
"nice" programming from mom. The
bottom line is that most of the people
walking around on this planet have NO IDEA how
ATTRACTION works, and therefore will never be able to
TEACH another person how this fabulous process works.
includes mothers. Mom loved you and wanted the
best for you, she just had no idea how to
explain what makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom may have
gotten the tingles when she saw Clint
Eastwood shooting everyone... and Neil Diamond
running around with his sneer, hairy chest and that
pickle in his jeans... (and that reminds me...
EWWWWWW... your mom is gross, dude). But,
this doesn't mean that she can or would
explain to her boy how to make this happen with other
this out: If you would like to learn my own
PERSONAL secrets for how to overcome this
problem of not knowing how to become a man who
NATURALLY attracts women, then you should go here NOW:
Let's talk about what we can actually LEARN
from this kind of phenomenon. The
thing that really fascinates me about people
is THEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING
ON... even though it's going on IN PLAIN SIGHT
ALL AROUND THEM... and the even MORE amazing
tendency to ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHEN one of these
OBVIOUS THINGS IS PRESENTED TO THEM. I've
read some fascinating books about the
concept of "self-deception", and I've come to
realize that we humans have an amazing capacity for
not seeing what's there... to the point where it can
be very bad for us.
just said, we often ARGUE about things that
are OBVIOUS to others... which makes it even worse. I need
to stop ranting and raving, and land the plane
on this one...
mechanism is, of course, a survival
mechanism that helps us to weed out all of the
useless information that's coming in through our senses
at any given time, but it can go overboard and
prevent us from seeing USEFUL information as well.
Point: A lot of our cultural and social
programming is "off-base" to some degree, which causes
us to see things and interpret things
incorrectly when we do see them.
Finally, we humans don't like to change our
beliefs about things. We don't like to admit that we
might be wrong in the first place, and we feel
unstable or insecure when we realize that a
fundamental truth we have held all our life is
all of this together, and you have moms who
teach their sons the "proper" way to act and men
who have NO IDEA how to be successful with
women... and then women who REALLY get upset when you
actually start teaching men what WORKS to
attract women (for more evidence of this, just read
some of these newsletters I'm sending you!)
Wow, I'm really going on an unusually
intellectual rant today! Nice. This is making me feel
pretty smart... I think I'll keep it up...
what's all this information good for? Well,
to start off, I think that it's important in
life to continually question YOUR OWN beliefs about
how things work and what is possible. I
think it's also good to constantly question your
Unfortunately, most people do the opposite... they
question their ability to succeed and they doubt
their own ability to get what they want. Most
people constantly "self-sabotage"
instead, you question your LIMITATIONS and your
LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly look with your
own eyes to see if there's something going
on that nobody mentioned to you, then you'll begin
to see things that will blow your mind. It
took me about 4 or 5 years to realize that
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. But as soon as I say it,
you can immediately get what I'm talking about,
and maybe even have a profound realization that
will lead to success. The
phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice" makes you
have the "ah ha" that you can't make a woman feel
attraction for you by CONVINCING her... so you
didn't figure this out by having someone TELL
it to me. I figured it out by questioning the things
I was hearing, and by following my own
intuition that there was a SOLUTION to this puzzle called
"women and dating".
here's a "home work" assignment for you:
Write down all of the things that SHOULD work when
it comes to making women feel attracted to you.
This might include buying gifts and food, giving
constant compliments, and acting "nice".
Write down your own personal experience of what
ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these "socially
correct things that mom taught you" with women.
Pretend for a moment that everything you've been
taught about women is wrong. Furthermore,
pretend that women are actually wired in REVERSE.
this were true, what kinds of things would result
in a woman feeling ATTRACTION for a man?
this open up some new possibilities for you?
invite you to question "common sense" and "what
your mother taught you" about women. I also
invite you to come and learn some of the VERY
ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniques that
I've learned, developed, refined, and
described in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD
ideas that I've just discussed are part of what I
consider to be the "Inner Game" of dating
guys spend almost NO time working on their Inner
Game... instead, they spend time learning things
like "pick up lines" and other almost
don't have your "Inner Game" together, you'll
never be effective with "techniques and
tricks". In my
Advanced Dating Techniques program, I spend
several HOURS teaching you one Inner Game
technique after another... showing you how to
overcome fear, improve your self image and self
esteem... and get past limiting beliefs that stop you
from even TRYING to meet women.
you're like me, and you've had a lot of
negative programming earlier in life, then you MUST
get that stuff handled. It's not going to handle
itself... YOU have to do it. And
this program will show you EXACTLY how. Oh...
and it will also teach you TONS of great "in
the field" techniques for approaching women,
starting conversations, getting dates, meeting women
online, and taking things to a "physical" level
smoothly and easily... without rejection.
too long ago I put up a bunch of new sample video
clips... and you should go watch them right now.
you haven't downloaded your copy of my online
eBook, "Double Your Dating", then you need to go
and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it and be
reading it in just a few minutes from now.
talk to you again soon.