Will he take the next step?

    Have you ever noticed that the more you
try to get close to a man and improve your
relationship… the more DISTANT and withdrawn
he’ll become?

    Well, recently I received an email from a
woman who shared her story about this.

    I think you’ll feel for her and relate to
the struggle that she’s facing.

    That’s why I’ve devoted today’s newsletter
to teaching you:

-why men can grow more distant the more you try
to get closer to them

-the mistakes most women make when trying to
bring men closer

-what REALLY works in creating a lasting and
committed relationship with a man, and what
doesn’t

-how a man becomes truly committed to a woman on
a physical AND emotional level

    So here we go…

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

I recently met guy and we started dating. From our
first date he was very forward with me (kissing,
touching, etc) and I was the reserved one until
the third date or so ( I hadn’t had that much
experience with men).

After a few weeks when he realized I started
having "feelings" for him he decided that he
wasn’t the right one for me. He said he has
never been in love with anyone before and it is
better to break up with me now than in six months
time. Is he scared of getting hurt again? (his
previous relationship ended after six months and
she broke it off about this time last year)

It came out of the blue for me as he seemed very
attracted to me physically and that we had a lot
in common. I put it down to him being under a lot
of pressure due to his personal circumstances (he
even admitted that). We talked it over and said he
liked me and felt attracted to me but it was up to
me to decide what I wanted to do about it.

As we met to discuss the situation it was like we
never discussed not to continue the relationship
as he was very physical again. I didn’t stop him
as I was very attracted to him but drew the line
at sex at that time. After a few more weeks have
passed things seemed to have be fine again but
we have since broken up and he has decided that
we should be friends. I told him I don’t know how
to be friends with an ex as I have never gone
through this situation. Why did he suggest this?
Does he still want to be involved in my life?

He said there isn’t anyone else in his life and
I believe him as he doesn’t have the opportunity
to meet women. We have seen each other as friends
twice since the decision was made and we got very
close physically especially the second time. I
realize this was a mistake you don’t need to tell
me that.

I asked him about his reasons for stopping the
relationship but he said it is a mix of things on
his side and mine and not to discuss it again. I
am not saying I want him back as I don’t want to
convince someone to be with me. I just don’t
understand his reasoning behind staying friends.
I think we were together because we were both
lonely at the time and connected through some
very similar circumstances. Should I let this
go or give him time? I can’t wait forever.

I am very confused about my feelings.
Thanks for reading my e-mail."

***MY COMMENTS***

    Ouch.

    I know your situation is endlessly frustrating
and seems impossible to understand… as I’ve
seen TONS of women go through or tell me about a
very similar experience with a man.

    Why is it that men will act distant with you
to the point where a break up happens… only to
come back and act affectionate for a little while,
and THEN go back to being distant and uncertain?

    After he pursues you physically and you start
getting comfortable and open up your feelings
again, he starts back-pedaling.

    And he tells you things like, "you are putting
too much pressure on me".

    "Let’s just be friends."

    "Things are moving too fast."

    Or he doesn’t say anything at all. He just
calls less, or stops calling altogether.

    And when you try to talk about it, he reacts
like you’re laying some guilt trip or some heavy
burden on him… and he backs off even further.   

    What’s happening here? Why do so many men do
this?

    To explain why this is with men, let me ask you
a question…

    When you are feeling upset about something,
do you call up close girlfriends to talk it over
and work out the best thing to do?

    If you’re like most women, you often do this.

    Now ask yourself…