Building your child’s self-esteem

The best way to improve your life and earn the respect of others is to improve your self-esteem. This is not a very difficult task. All that it needs is good guidance. Here are ten tips that can help you improve your self-esteem.
1.    You should surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive, and shun friends who are cynical and negative. This will generate a huge swell of positive feelings in you. You will respect yourself more, and your self-esteem will grow.
2.    You should be clear about what you want to achieve in life. Set goals, and work for their achievement. To make your task easier, break your main goal into several smaller goals which are relatively easy to achieve. This will make the task of reaching your main goals seem easier. It will also give you a feeling of satisfaction whenever you achieve one of the smaller goals.
3.    Always be positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself about your good qualities, your accomplishments and how you help your family, friends, others and yourself. Don’t make the mistake of brooding over negative things, and never put yourself down.
4.    Develop the ability to accept criticism about yourself, without getting upset or defensive. This will help you eliminate your weaknesses one by one. However, make sure that the criticism is constructive. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by criticism that is cynical or meant to lower your self-esteem. This will be a great mistake, and do irreparable damage to your self-esteem.
5.    We all need to accept the fact that we will fail from time to time. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of a negative effect on us. We should think that we have not been successful this time and that we will succeed the next time. This will help us to pull ourselves together and move on. Such an attitude will help us overcome the most difficult conditions.
6.    Never compare yourself with others. This is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate yourself on your achievements. Such an approach will give you self-confidence. At the same time it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group.
7.    Never put yourself down. Failures are like parasites. If you allow them to grow they will eat away your self-confidence, self- respect and self-esteem. The best is to push negative thoughts out of your mind, if you want others to treat you with respect. This can only happen when you project a positive exterior, even in most adverse situations. Make it a point to filter out all self-criticism.
8.    Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only happen if you are assertive about your rights. Of course, this does not mean that you should pick up physical battles to make your point. On the contrary, you should exercise restraint and make your point in a dignified manner. This will not only make others treat you with respect but also increase your self-esteem.
9.    You may be self-conscious and because of this you may avoid talking to groups of people. Try to approach groups of people and introduce yourself to them. Ask them questions about themselves and try to be genuinely interested in the answers. Listen carefully and attentively to what they say and respond to show your interest. Interacting with people will make you feel more relaxed. You will realize that it is easy to speak to groups of people and to relax by concentrating on what others are saying, rather than on yourself.
10.    Self-esteem is also dependent upon the felling of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel inferior to a confident, smart individual. So, you need to take good care of your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.





Building Your Child’s Self Esteem
It’s one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don’t know how to develop.
Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?
We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child’s self- esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest.
For example, if art is not your child’s top skill, don’t say that his or her drawing is the best you’ve ever seen. Your child will know it’s not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort.
Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.
Also, understand that your child and your child’s behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child’s self- esteem.
Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don’t like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.
Emmanuel Segui is an NLP Master Practitioner and the author of an excellent ebook, Moving from Vision to Action that will teach how to easily empower yourself to bring true power, focus, health and energy into your life.

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