How to Tell If He's Really
By Lisa Daily
How can you tell if that guy
you've been dating is actually falling for you or just fooling
around? Six simple questions will tell you all you need to know.
1) When does he usually call you for a Saturday night date?
a) Two weeks in advance
b) Usually by Wednesday or Thursday
c) The day before
d) 10 minutes before he shows up
2) How often does he call you during the week?
a) Twice a day
b) 3-7 Times a week
c) Once a week
d) 10 minutes before he shows up
3) How often do you see each other?
a) Every day
b) Two or three times a week
c) Two or three times a month
d) Once a month or less
4) How often do you call him during the week?
b) I never call him, or I return his calls occasionally
c) I call him a couple times a week
d) I call him every day
5) If you stopped doing all of the work in the relationship, (asking
him out, calling him, etc.) how would it affect the relationship?
a) I have no idea
b) It wouldn't change a bit - he's doing most of the pursuing.
c) It would slow down considerably - I'd probably see him half as
d) Goodbye relationship, hello Haagen Dazs. He doesn't do much
pursuing, so if I stopped calling and making dates, I'd probably
would never see him again.
6) When he asks you out on a date, who pays?
a) He always pays
b) He usually pays, but I offer sometimes
c) We usually split the check
d) I usually pay for the date
Mostly As - This guy is
either head over heels in love, or it's early in the relationship
and you haven't had sex yet. Maybe both. While the eight-calls-a-day
intensity is romantic at first, it can also wear you both out, and
cause the relationship to prematurely crash and burn. Try taking a
breather every once and a while to hang out with friends and do your
own thing. You'll both appreciate the break, and trust me, absence
really does make the heart grow fonder. While it's tempting to
isolate yourselves in a love-cocoon, it can be damaging to the
Mostly Bs - This relationship is right on track. By
calling you regularly and pursuing the relationship, he's letting
you know that he's definitely into you. Why? A man who is interested
will continually work to progress the relationship. In other words,
if he's pursuing you, he's interested. The key to success here is to
stay on track. If the relationship hits a slow point, don't freak
out and start pursuing him or you'll break the dynamic that is
currently working so well. Stay relaxed and confident, and the
relationship is sure to pick up speed again.
Mostly Cs - He's great on a date, and then you
don't hear from him for weeks. His cell phone rings constantly
during dinner, but you can't reach him for days. This guy probably
enjoys your company, but something isn't right. He's either
distracted by another relationship, work, friends, or all of the
above. For some reason, he's happy to let things slide. To bring him
on board, you need to stop making things so easy for him.
If you don't hear from him by mid-week, make other plans (and don't
break them.) Don't make yourself so available for him, stop calling
him for a while, and see if he picks up the slack. He'll either step
up his game, and put in the necessary effort, or he'll let you know
for certain that he's not the guy for you.
Mostly Ds -
I hate to break it to you darling, but this guy is exhibiting all
the signs of someone who's just hanging around for the sex and free
food. If you stop chasing after him, it's highly likely he'll just
vaporize into thin air. Why? He's making it clear by his actions
(not calling you, only calling you at the last minute) that he's
waiting for something (anything!) better. (But hey, a you and a
plate of fries will do if nothing more exciting comes along.) Don't
fret. It's probably not you. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you're
the greatest girl in the world, you're just not the girl for him.
Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want you. Spend it with
someone who does. The more time you waste on Mr. Right Now, the
longer it will take you to find Mr. Right. Move on!
Dating Expert Lisa Daily is
an internationally known dating coach and the author of
Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly in love
with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less.
At bookstores everywhere.
As seen in Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and Glamour Magazine
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