Let me start off by telling you something interesting:
I've personally stopped focusing on just
getting phone numbers. I've found that EMAIL addresses are far better
(I still get the phone number too, of course).
Let me explain.
I perfected the art of getting phone numbers
a couple of years ago.
If a woman is single, I can walk up to her
and get her number in about a minute or two (if I'm in a hurry). I
found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that
GETTING PHONE NUMBERS ALONE DOESNT'T EQUAL SUCCESS.
You see, women have many different reasons
for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having
a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are actually
interested. But the universal feedback that I get from men, and in my
personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in
When you call a woman for the first time,
she'll often start acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude.
It's almost like she's a different person than the one you met.
I've found that getting an EMAIL address is
not only easier, but it gets more positive responses later on. It's
almost as if women appreciate it that you've taken the time to think
about what you're going to say when you write an email to them, and
they think of you more like someone they know.
The other benefit of email is that it can be
written and answered anytime.
If you call, you have to actually reach them.
But an email can be answered anytime. And I've found that emails are
answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.
HERE'S THE HOW TO:
After I've talked to a woman for about 3 or 4
minutes, I'll often say something like "Well, it was nice meeting
you. I'm going to get back to my friends."
They usually don't know what to do, as
they're used to guys clinging to them. Most of the time, they say
"It was nice meeting you too..." Then, just as I'm
turning to walk away, and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say
"HEY! Do you have email?"
The "HEY!" is a bit surprising, and
"Do you have email" is non-threatening. In fact, I'm
technically asking her if she HAS email, not if she'll GIVE IT TO ME.
If she says "yes," I take out a pen
and paper and say "Great, write it down for me" and I have
her write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the 'yes' that they
give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they've almost ALL
gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I
say "Write your number down there too."
When you ask for email, it's very low risk
for a woman, so she'll think "Fine, I'll do that." Most
women will give out an email address without thinking about it,
because they know that they can choose later to just not answer.
The magic of asking them to write their phone
number down WHILE they're in the middle of writing down their email is
all about the psychology of human behavior.
She's already mentally said "OK, I'll
give you my email address"... and she's in the middle of writing
it down. When you say "And just write your number down there
too" it's only NATURAL to just write it.
In other words, it's a MUCH smaller step than
giving out the phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time to
figure out this simple move, but it works like magic! You will have
women writing their phone numbers down without even thinking twice.
Here's a great add-on to make sure you're
getting a real phone number and not a pager or voicemail:
As she's writing down her phone number I say
"Is this a number that you actually answer?" If she looks at
me and hesitates, or says that it's her "voicemail or pager
number," then I say "Look, write your real number down. It's
going to be OK, I'll only call you nine times a day..." They
laugh and usually give me their real number.
Now, if she answers my first question and
says "No, I don't have email" then I bust on them and say
"Well, do you have electricity?" This is a GREAT opportunity
to use humor.
Then I say "Well, OK then. I like email
better, but I'll take your regular phone number. It's so damn hard to
reach people on the phone these days."
Just realize that all you have to do is ask.
Like I said, I've tried all kinds of things.
And I've gotten hundreds of phone numbers. And I use this exact
sequence every time I talk to a woman and I want to get her phone
number. I've gotten to the point where I can often do this in a minute
or two - no kidding!
Now that you know the sequence, write it down
with the words and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over and
over until you know exactly what to say for each step and each
Many guys have asked me "But what do I
tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?" I've never
had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why
you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she also knew why you
Just assume that this is the case.
If you ask every time, and you do it in a
smooth, assuming, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phone
Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I
prefer the Fisher Space Pen (chrome) because it's small, classy, and
women love it!
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