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The Wrong Reasons To Be In A Relationship


>Quick Tip: When you start dating a man, it's
easy for you both to keep that initial feeling
of mystery and attraction going strong. But as
you grow closer, often times a man will stop
"feeling it" for you, or get scared, as things
get more serious. Learn quick and easy tips on
how to keep ATTRACTION flowing and have your man
literally begging YOU for a commitment, instead
of RESISTING your relationship, by reading THIS:

http://affiliates.hottopicmedia.com/z/65/CD147/&dp=843

Dear EliteMater,


Have you ever "lost yourself" inside a
relationship?

Have you ever had to figure out how to
start taking care of yourself, your life, and
your dreams FIRST... after realizing that it's
not a man's business to do this for you?

And how many times have you gotten into a
relationship with a man, broken up, and then
realized after the fact that you totally got
off your own "life path" while you were with
him?

If you're like lots of women, this kind of
thing is an ongoing pattern in your life...

You meet an amazing man and you INSTANTLY
fall for him and start spending most of your
time and energy with him.

And before you know it... a huge part of
your life revolves around this man and your
relationship with him.

For a while, things are PERFECT.

He's loving, affectionate, and you share
things with each other you've never shared
with anyone else ever before.

But after a while you start to see things
shift...

You start to see that you're not doing a
lot of the things you used to do that were
what kept you happy when you were single.

Your friends and other relationships start
to drop away as you see everyone but your
boyfriend less and less.

And most of your energy and mental focus
is spent doing things inside your relationship,
and for the man you're with.

You start to turn to and depend on your
relationship and the man you're with more and
more for fulfillment and satisfaction and
happiness... which is why when things STOP being
so perfect with this guy it completely FREAKS
YOU OUT.

You've been putting EVERYTHING into this
relationship, and doing everything you feel like
you can for the man in your life... but then
he starts acting differently with you.

He doesn't seem to be as happy just to see
you and be with you... the way he used to be.

He doesn't seem as fun, as relaxed, and as
"present" with you the way he used to be.

And he doesn't seem to talk about or make
plans for THE FUTURE with you the way he did
when you were still getting to know one another.

And then it happens...

He comes to you one night out of the blue
and tells you, "Honey, we need to talk. I'm
not happy anymore and I want to break up."

He also says some of the following:

"It's really not you. You're great. It's me."

"I just don't want a serious relationship
right now, but I really care about you."

"I just feel like I need my freedom right
now, and I hope you understand."

Of course you're devastated and completely
taken off guard. And you start asking yourself
questions like...

"Why didn't I see this coming?"

Or...

"What was his problem? There was nothing
wrong with our relationship. So why did he
have to turn away from the amazing connection
we shared?"

Or...

"How in the world did I get into ANOTHER one
of these situations again where the man and
the relationship I thought was there for me
turned out to be anything but something I
could DEPEND ON?"

And finally...

"What part of this is MY FAULT? What did I
do that caused him to want to leave and not
be with me anymore?"

If you're like lots of women who I've met
and helped over the years... then these and
other questions have raced through your head
for days and weeks after the man in your life
left you.

Here's the point to all this...

Just so you know, in the whole break-up
process, asking these kinds of questions to
yourself is a completely normal part of what
most women go through.

But what often happens next is important
for you to think about and learn from if you
want to create for yourself better SITUATIONS
and RELATIONSHIPS with men in the future...

Once you get some "space" from this man
and the relationship... most women start to
have a GRADUAL RECOGNITION about how the subtle
SIGNS OF DANGER were there from early on with
the man they were with...

And how, even though you went into this
new situation trying to be smart and careful
about being in the right relationship and not
getting hurt again like you had before... you
ended up repeating the VERY SAME MISTAKES that
you had sworn you'd never make again.

And now, only in retrospect, is it so
painfully obvious that things were going to end
badly with this man.

How could you have ignored the signs that
were there?

And how come you didn't do anything about
it when your intuition told you to?

It's enough to drive you crazy trying to
figure out what to listen to inside your head,
and what not to.

*Quick Tip: One of the best ways to avoid
the UNCERTAINTIES and all the UNKNOWNS in a
relationship with a man is to be the kind of
woman who a man is able to easily open up to
and communicate his true thoughts and feelings
with.

Part of the secret of being able to get a
man to communicate with you in this way is to
understand what it is that INSPIRES a man to
get in touch with his feelings and want to
share with you in the first place.

Because if you don't help a man get in touch
with his feelings, and be in the mental and
emotional state where he'll want to open up
and share with you... then all you're going to
get is RESISTANCE.

To learn the SECRETS to communicating with
a man... and how to get him to enjoy opening up
and sharing with you so much that he'll start
initiating amazing conversations with you on
his own... then you need to check this out now:

http://affiliates.hottopicmedia.com/z/65/CD147/&dp=843

Ok, now... as if all that I was talking
about above with "losing yourself" with a man
and the fallout that comes from it wasn't painful
and frustrating enough... here's the final straw:

When this happens... you also finally
recognize after you break up that you had stopped
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF in your relationship...
and that few, if any, of YOUR NEEDS had really
been addressed and taken care of inside your
relationship.

You had stopped doing most or all of the
things that you knew were what truly made you
HAPPY and FULFILLED as a woman. So, no wonder
you weren't your "personal best" and your
relationship didn't last.

Instead of making sure you were being the
best you could be... you had been spending most
of your precious time and energy on your
relationship, and on keeping it and the man
you were with happy.

But which was the priority?

And which one is more important than the
other?

And why is this kind of thing so common and
ends up happening to so many women over and over
in their lives - but they never learn the lesson
and figure out what to do about it.

Well, let me start by sharing with you the
most important reasons that this happens to so
many women.

It's because:

A) Most women don't enter into relationships
with an already happy and fulfilling life and
allow a man and a relationship to simply add to
their already great and ongoing full life

B) Most women get into relationships with men
not only in the WRONG WAY that sets things up
to be difficult and short-lived from the start,
but also for the WRONG REASONS

Now... I want to give you what could be
the most powerful and life-changing piece of
insight you come across for YEARS.

Seriously.

If you're repeating a lot of the same
relationship patterns over and over with men,
and you find that you're EMOTIONALLY drawn into
these similar situations with different men
again and again and want to BREAK THE HABIT...

Then you need to start by first creating
that emotionally healthy and fulfilling life
for yourself first... and THEN you will find
that you will EFFORTLESSLY draw and attract
the RIGHT MAN to you from the INSIDE OUT.

The best, and perhaps only, way I know of
how to do this and get your own "inner-world"
and life handled so that you are really and
truly READY FOR LOVE is by reading THIS:

http://affiliates.hottopicmedia.com/z/65/CD147/&dp=843
 

Ok, now back to it.

I want to talk to you about the second
reason from above about why so many end up
in the situation where they "lose themselves"
inside their relationship.

And that's because they end up falling into
a relationship for the WRONG REASONS in the
first place.

If you are looking for the wrong things
from a man, attracted to the wrong men, or
you're wanting to receive the wrong kind of
attention and validation from a man... then it
doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure out
that you're very likely to get into the WRONG
RELATIONSHIP for the WRONG REASONS.

So...

I'm going to share a few of the absolute
WRONG REASONS why you might be in a
relationship... and why these reasons guarantee
that what you share with a man won't be healthy
or fulfilling for you. (And won't last)

Here are some of the most critical wrong
reasons to be in a relationship...

Wrong Reason #1: To Avoid Feeling Lonely

Another weekend rolls around, it's a great
time to be out in the world enjoying life
with someone special... but you have no one
special to share it with.

The holidays and other special times of the
year keep coming up... and there you are at
dinner tables and parties around all kinds of
happy loving families and couples.

But you're there ALONE.

You get into your bed at night by yourself
and you think... how in the world do I still
not have a real partner I can share my life with?

And you think back to the last man you
were with, or loved... and part of you wants
to call him up.

It wouldn't be so bad. He was a good guy
afterall... even though you couldn't make it
work the last time around.

Maybe this time will be different.

Why not give it another try?

I can't tell you how many women I see
making huge mistakes with men because there's
a part of them on a deep emotional level that
would rather AVOID the feeling of being ALONE
at all costs rather than free themselves of a
relationship or situation that they knew was
unhealthy or harmful to them.

Of course, very few women CONSCIOUSLY say
to themselves,

"Gee, if I leave this bad relationship where
I'm not getting much of anything anyhow... I'll
have to feel that scary awful feeling of being
alone. But that's better than this hurtful
relationship"

No.

On an UNCONSCIOUS level, lots of women are
actually MORE EMOTIONALLY SATISFIED in a BAD
RELATIONSHIP that ends up hurting them AND the
man they're with... than they are being ALONE.

In other words, all the pain and struggle
and hurt that can come with being in the wrong
relationship with the wrong man is much more
comfortable and "familiar" to lots of women than
the idea of being ALONE.

And this is why you can often end up in
very complicated and hurtful relationships that
just seem to keep beating you up and taking from
you... and you never can tell when it's time
to call it quits and move on.

When you feel lonely inside, or you have a
fear of being alone now or in the future...
sooner or later it will cause you to make BAD
CHOICES and end up getting involved and staying
in BAD RELATIONSHIPS.


Wrong Reason #2: Pressure

How many of your friends are in serious
long term relationships and have love and a
great man in their life?

And how many are married, engaged, or soon
to be engaged and about to be married?

You might not consciously recognize it...
but if a whole bunch of your friends are
starting to "get hitched" and are falling
deeper into lasting committed relationships,
then odds are it's having a strong impact on
the way you're thinking and feeling.

After you go out to dinner with a few of
your female friends, and they are all with
the great guy they're in an amazing relationship
with... coming home alone doesn't feel too
good.

And let's not even mention weddings, baby
showers, and the like.

Or if you're getting close to, at, or past
the age where you can start a family.

It's enough to make you wonder if there's
something wrong with you.

Unfortunately, a lot of women let the love
and luck that OTHER WOMEN are experiencing in
relationships make them feel an intense level
of PRESSURE to find the right man and the right
lasting relationship NOW.

Of course, this only adds to the problem
of ATTRACTING a man... as it leads you to not
feeling very relaxed, comfortable, or confident
in yourself since you're so wrapped up in your
head.

And it makes the challenge of creating
a long term relationship that will LAST more
difficult for you since the PRESSURE you feel
inside to have the right relationship NOW makes
you behave in DESPERATE and NEEDY ways that makes
a man feel like you're more interested in the
IDEA of a good relationship than you are in HIM
and how he actually FEELS when he's with you.

If you let the fact that other women are in
great relationships make you feel sorry for
yourself and hopeless... then you're only making
things worse for yourself...

And a man is going to sense these feelings,
emotions, and worries inside you VERY QUICKLY
from the moment he meets you and gets close to
you... and ironically it will be your intense
desire and the pressure you feel to have a great
relationship that will be the thing that PUSHES
HIM AWAY.

Wrong Reason #3: Filling The Void

If you have a sense of emptiness inside
you that wants to be filled by love and by a
man... then the HARSH REALITY is that no one,
no man, and no relationship is EVER going to
be able to fill that emptiness or void inside
you.

Ever.

And no matter how great you think a man
is, or how amazing you think you are together
as a couple... if you have those "empty spots"
inside you, then they are going to show up in
your relationship and do all kinds of damage
to you and the man you're with.

No matter what he does or says, ultimately
it won't be good enough... or feel good enough
for you.

If he starts saying he loves you twice a
day... you'll start to wonder and worry when
he only says it once.

When you do something for a man to make
him happy, or to surprise him just because...
and then he doesn't respond exactly the way
you had hoped or expected, then you're going
to lose your composure and he'll see that
there's something about you he doesn't want to
be around.

The point is, if there's that feeling of
emptiness that you carry with you when you're
not with a man... then the truth is that when
you go to get into a relationship, you're often
going to get involved not because a man or a
relationship is right for you... but because you
want to FILL this VOID inside you.

Of course, if you find a good guy and you
get a relationship started off right... then
often times it's easy to experience several
weeks or months of fun and joy.

But this doesn't mean that what's happening
beneath the surface inside you has changed.

Any kind of intimacy and "closeness" is
going to make you feel better for a little
while when you have this "void" inside you...

But once the easy emotional connection and
satisfaction you get from a new kind of love
and a new situation wears off... you'll of
course find that you're not "filled up" after
all.

Which is why this "void" is the very thing
that makes you so terribly VULNERABLE to the
WRONG RELATIONSHIPS in the first place.

Some signs that you have a kind of
emotional "void" and that you aren't in touch
with the things that fulfill you are:

-Not being able to, or choosing to spend any
time alone

-Needing to have a phone, a TV, a radio, or
something present in your life at all times
or else you feel nervous or bored

-Being out of touch with your own personal
thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or purpose

-Needing to have a high level of CERTAINTY
and PREDICTABILITY in all things in your life

-"Feeding" your void with things other than
just men and relationships such as food,
clothing, shopping, etc.


What To Do About All This...

Now, if a few of the things I've said here
have struck a chord inside you... then that's
a sign that there's some truth for you in one
or more of the things I was talking about.

With that being the case, here's what I'd
like to do...

I'd like to give you a few quick tips here
and guide you to some other resources where
you could find IN-DEPTH information, answers,
and solutions to some of the things that may
be going on in your dating and relationship
PATTERNS with men.

Tip #1: Don't Wait For A Man To Figure It All Out

Here's something fascinating...

I got a bunch of emails last week in
response to an email I wrote that was about
how some women screw up in common dating
situations with men.

Several of these emails were from women who
were thanking me for all the insights and advice
they got from reading my email.

They said that as they read my email,
something kind of "snapped on" inside their
minds... and suddenly what they needed to do
and change in their own love life became
crystal clear.

Problem solved, worries gone, uncertainty
dealt with... and life was much better now
knowing what they didn't know before.

But a few of the emails I got from a few
other women were very different...

A few of these "other women" had a much
different attitude.

They were actually writing because they
were PISSED OFF at ME for writing an email that
told them how to take action for themselves...
and were angry that I hadn't suggested that it
was men who were the ones that needed to do
the changing.

If you don't get where I'm going with this
and what's going on here... here's the deal-

I'm writing to you right now - a woman.

I'm not writing to a man.

If I was writing to a man, or I could write
an email to your boyfriend, lover, husband,
whatever... then I would be giving him HELL
about getting his act together and being an
amazing partner who fulfilled and satisfied
you.

But guess what?

He's not here!!!

You are.

That's why it's time to stop waiting for a
man to figure out what's going on and be the
one to learn what it takes to make you, your
life, and your relationship filled with LOVE,
JOY, and FULFILLMENT.

Of course, if you want to keep waiting
around for a man to finally "get it" and make
things work for you... then be my guest.

Just don't get mad at me when you start
getting frustrated and see that he's not going
to be the one to figure things out for you.


Tip #2: Help Yourself

One of the best ways to start improving
your life and any situation your in - whether
it's a relationship with a man or any other
potentially great and important situation -
is to find amazing resources and information
that will help you quickly GROW and LEARN.

I can't tell you how many women have said
to me over the years that they wish they would
have come across my book, my information, and
some of my other products 5, 10, or even 20
years ago.

It would have saved them nearly a lifetime
of pain, frustration, and heartache.

The great news is that you don't have to
figure everything out for yourself... and there
are ways to DRAMATICALLY increase your own
knowledge and understanding with men, dating,
and relationships... so that when those critical
situations come along and love is in the balance,
you can know and feel confident in yourself and
in the right thing to do.

If you've found that you've ended up in
several unhealthy relationships with men who
just weren't very good to you... but you stayed
and struggled anyways, only to have things turn
out for the worst... then may I STRONGLY SUGGEST
that you check out my "Ready For Love" CD/DVD
program.

It's one of the quickest and best ways
around to help yourself.

Read about this amazing program here:

http://affiliates.hottopicmedia.com/z/65/CD147/&dp=843

I created this program exactly for the
purpose of helping a good woman like you to
get back to that healthy loving place in your
life where attracting the right man, the
right relationship, and sharing LASTING LOVE
comes natural.

There's something incredible about how we
as humans interact with each other in the
world...

When you have your own life "together", and
you have yourself "aligned" inside on all
levels... there's SOMETHING EXTRA about you
that a man can't help but notice and that will
quickly draw his attention to you.

And this kind of attention isn't the kind of
attention from a man that says to him,

"Hey, I've got to meet that woman. It would
be great if I could get close to her physically
and sexually."

Instead, if you're together on an emotional,
physical, intellectual, and spiritual level...
then the right man will look at you and silently
say to himself,

"Hey, I've got to meet that woman, spend time
with her, and get close to her on every level.
And not just physically"

For a man, that split second when he sees
a woman and gets that initial impression about
her and who she is can last a LIFETIME.

If you don't make the right impression, and
he doesn't feel ATTRACTED and DRAWN TO YOU from
who you are both inside and out... then you might
never get another chance to change that first
impression.

On the other hand, if you take the time to
HELP YOURSELF and become the kind of woman that
a man will quickly fall for inside and out...
then everything will simply start to fall into
place for you. And even making decisions when it
comes to men, dating, and relationships will
start to become fun and easy because you'll be in
the right mental, emotional, and spiritual state.

To give yourself a HUGE head-start in this
whole area of becoming the kind of woman who
is attractive to a man on all levels from the
inside out... and to undo the NEGATIVE PATTERNS
you've had in your past that have made you get
into and stay in relationships for the WRONG
REASONS...

Do yourself a favor and go get yourself a
copy of my "Ready For Love" program now.

It's here:

http://affiliates.hottopicmedia.com/z/65/CD147/&dp=843

And if you have your "inner world" together
already... but you're looking to take the
ATTRACTION that a man feels for you quickly
and easily to the next level, so that he'll
be the one asking you to commit to him...
then you need to go check out the incredible
program I created to show you everything you need
to know about how ATTRACTION works for a man...

And what you need to think, say, and do in
order for a man to feel a deep level of LASTING
ATTRACTION for you.

Go here now and check out my "Natural &
Lasting Attraction" program:

http://affiliates.hottopicmedia.com/z/65/CD147/&dp=843

I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck
in Life and Love.


Your Friend,

Christian Carter