What Women Want In A Man
By David DeAngelo
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I just bought
the advanced CD series & it's amazing what
a difference they make over the book. Being
able to listen on the way to work, whilst
out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel
the confidence building inside me, it's like
my own personal coach.
The C&F
doesn't come naturally to me at present so
I've taken your advice and am using the
internet as a 'woman simulator' in order to
practice. I've had mixed results so far, I
think a few took the teasing the wrong way
as some of them would suddenly stop
replying.
I must be
better at the C&F than I thought though. The
first time I went on this site I was
chatting to a few girls and one of them
ended up giving me her mobile and asking if
we could go for coffee before I had chance
to. Anyway my question: You suggest that a
date should simply be 'tea & stimulating
conversation', which for all of the reasons
you give makes perfect sense to me. But once
I've done the tea & conversation with this
girl, do you have any suggestions for other
dates where I can come across as the
'lover' instead of the 'provider'. The only
one where I wouldn't end up having to shell
out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is
a walk along the river or something, but
that's rather dependant on the weather.
Thanks for
changing my life.
AIB - London
UK
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>>>MY
COMMENTS:
Yea, well
you're welcome for the "changing your life"
thing. Glad to help.
Now, you're
kind of mixing up a couple of concepts that
I never intended to "depend" on one
another...
If you want to
know where to take a woman for dates, that
shouldn't be confused with whether or not
you come across as a "lover" personality,
and not a "provider" personality to her.
Let me ask you
something... what is a "date"?
What do you
think that the purpose of a "date" is?
Now, I call my
material "Double Your Dating", but what I
DON'T mean is "take women out to dinner
twice as much as you used to".
The word
"Dating" is simply a word that all of us
guys understand to mean "romantic
interactions with women".
So I use it.
But if you
want to have more romantic interactions with
women, that does NOT mean that you need to
"take women out on dates" in order to do it.
Are you with
me?
I mean, what
do couples do a year after they get
together...?
They stay home
most of the time, do normal things like go
shopping, and generally behave like they did
before they met.
This whole
"going out to dinner" ritual is really an
amazing concept. It's awesome how powerful
it is... and how guys really believe that
they need to do it (or similar things) in
order to get a woman's attention in a
romantic way.
Here's the
bottom line:
If you want a
woman to think of you as a "lover", then BE
ONE.
If you want
her to think of you as a provider, then just
BE ONE.
What you
haven't quite realized fully yet is that
when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in a
woman, all the "normal" rules go away.
If a woman
feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for
you, then she'll do ANYTHING with you...
just to be in your presence and have your
attention.
If you have
dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you need
to say is "come over here".
No dates
required.
Now, if you
buy her dinner 10 times, call her 3 times a
day, and chase her around, then it will be
EXPECTED that you continue this pattern...
and provide for her.
NOTE: If
you're buying a woman dinner twice a week,
giving her flowers, calling her every day,
and basically "chasing" her, then you can be
about 80% sure that there's another guy in
the picture... but guess what? He's the one
who SHE calls, and he's the one who says
"Come over later, I'm busy now"... no dates
required.
If you want to
be a LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.
You don't need
to wait until the third time out for coffee
or tea.
You'll learn
that ATTRACTION doesn't have a timeline.
It happens
VERY QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger
it... and you don't need a lot of "date
ideas" once you do.
And now that
I've avoided your question for a page or
two, let me answer with this:
I often take
women to do "regular" things with me. I'll
take them to the grocery store to shop with
me, out to the mall to pick things up, and
down to the bookstore to buy a book.
First, start
BEING the LOVER immediately.
Then, notice
how women DON'T CARE what you do together,
as long as she's with you.
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MORE DATING ADVICE
1.
What Women Want In A Man
2.
A Secret Women Know But Men Don't
3. What Women HATE Most About Single Guys
4.
The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably
Make With Women -
And What To Do
About It
5. How Guys Screw Up First Dates
6. How To Get A Woman's Phone Number And
Email Address Within Three Minutes Of
Meeting Her
7. What To Do When A Woman "Challenges" You
8. How To Act On The First Date
9. How To Tell If She's Interested
10. How To Tell If She's Single
11. Initial Conversations With Women, Not
Being A Wussy & Other Gems
12. How To Call A Woman To Ask Her Out
13. Secrets Of Dating Younger Women
14. Why VERY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women
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***SUCCESS
STORY***
David,
Just wanted to
say that after reading your material, I
experienced a mental shift. I now see
situations in terms of: was I
self-referenced (C & F Man) or externally
referenced (wussie boy)? It is now very
clear that success in anything comes to
leaders not followers and women hate dealing
with followers. For example look at little
boys dealing with little girls when they
are playing together. They boss them
around, make them play by their rules and
those girls grow up expecting men to lead
them. Just watch any John Garfield or Lee
Marvin movie. Leaders get the girl, wussies
get to be used and discarded. I've made my
choice.
Thanks David
E from Chi
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
Good. Now help
me get the word out to the other 3 billion
guys on the planet.
You're right.
Women don't like men who are FOLLOWERS.
Women aren't
ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.
But guess
what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.
Thanks for
reminding us that we need to LEAD. Leading
creates ATTRACTION. Following creates the
curious dry feeling.
***SUCCESS
STORY***
Dave-- I
definitely have to give it to you. You are "da
shizznitt", lol. Your DYD dvd series has
really changed my entire life. I now feel
like I am in control of "My World". I was a
little hesitant about buying your
product... but I just said "What the
Hell...What can I loose???" I am military
and in my spare time I am a bartender. You
know what that means... I see females out
the izzass, lol. I was working one night
and a female came up to one of my fellow
bartenders to order something and while
getting her drink... she asked told him...
" all these guys are staring at me. Do you
think i'm cute?" Now normally if I were in
his shoes and hadn't learned what you
taught me... I would have melted and told
her that she was the finest thing to step
foot on this base... case in point...that
was what he said. He just bent down unzipped
his pants and practically handed her his
nuts. Hence, her hands being the
nutcracker. I interrupted them while he was
"dazed and confused" and told her
"Actually they're looking at that big
pimple on your forehead. She stopped and
turned towards me and laughed and hit me on
the arm. Then I told her not to get mad
cuz I was cuter than she. She smiled and
for some odd reason... she could not keep
herself away from the bar. I just
pretended that she was one of my friends
that I tease all the time and just called
her on everything that she did. Man... I
couldn't believe that she was really eating
this up!!! The other bartender that she was
talking to first, couldn't believe that I
was doing this!!! He.... for some odd
reason didn't GET what was going on... It
was like jets flying over his head. And to
show that his nuts belonged to her... he
just kept trying to compliment her. She
just glanced at him smiled and quickly
turned her head to pay him no mind. I got
her e-mail and number and she has been like
putty in my hands for the past three
months. I have to give it to you, Dave.
You da man!!! I'm not a selfish
person...so I gave him your e-mail address
and hopefully he'll get your system and
realize what he's been doing wrong. I
should give him her e-mail address so that
he can ask for his balls back, lol. But...
for those who have doubts about Dave's
system... I'm living proof of success.
Thanks
Dave!!!
JR - Mexico
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
OK, first of
all, I think that you must have some kind of
bizarre NUT OBSESSION, dude.
And it's not
right.
But hey,
fortunately you're on the right side of the
"don't hand them over" equation, so
everything seems like it might be all right
for you.
You've given
some great examples of how to get an
attractive woman's attention, tease her, and
play with her to "spark" that initial sexual
tension and "chemistry".
Now make sure
you keep it up so you're not writing me in 3
more months with the "She used the Trojan
Horse De-Nutting Technique" on me.
***QUESTION***
Hey Man,
What has happened to women's standards?
All the beautiful babes with no neck dorks!
I am a good looking guy and I can't even
get a phone number. They go out with guys
that weigh like 300 lbs and dress like
slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a nice
car and I can't get a single date. Maybe it
is where I live. In order to get a date I
will have to gain 200 lbs and have someone
break my nose so I am ugly enough for some
girl to date me. American girls suck! They
have no taste anymore!
I give up!
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
No, I think
that the problem is that you whine like a
whipped Bitch.
Women can
smell a "victim" attitude 100 miles away,
and it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Women's
"standards" are just fine.
The problem
isn't them, it's YOU.
Now do
yourself a favor and quit ACTING like a
little girl, and DO SOMETHING about your
situation.
What, do you
think that all the average and ugly guys out
there who have HOT girlfriends are getting
them by being ugly?
The answer is
"No, they're not".
These guys are
getting the babes because they know how to
make the women feel ATTRACTION.
Trust me, I
know quite a few guys who are NOT exactly
the picture of "handsome"... but these guys
get a lot of women.
Why?
Because they
KNOW HOW.
Now quit
whining, and go LEARN.
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***SUCCESS
STORY***
Dear Dr. D,
Just wanted to drop you a quick note. I am
a 34 year old and divorced using your
E-book to learn how to get back into the
game. Since I was raised by my parents to
be a nice guy, submissive, wussy, it has
been a challenge to overcome these
self-destructive traits---but I am gaining
ground every day. Also, I don't have any
natural ability for C&F. For the most part
I am quiet and reserved----so I have needed
to re-train myself in that area also. You
have given me a good start by explaining
attraction and what women want.
I want to
stress the importance of "practice". It's
the only way to quickly improve your inner
and outer game. What has helped me is
practicing on an old girlfriend. I am sure
many of your students like me have a woman
that just won't let you go from an old
relationship. So, I have not completely
ended it for sex and companionship and she
keeps me around for sex and emotional
support.
Anyway----to
my amazing weekend: Saturday, I went out
with the old girlfriend and busted on her
and challenged her on many issues all
night. My old self would have shut up and
zoned out---not this time. I didn't put up
with any of her nonsense. It ended at my
place and we had an amazing double session.
She is now hooked more than ever even though
she knows I am seeing other people. She
can't help herself. I have triggered the
attraction mechanism and more importantly I
know what I did to accomplish that. Sunday
I spent the day with a cute girl who had
responded to my internet ad. We had only
been out once before. I played the
game---didn't act overly sexually
interested, just enough....I used the C&F
when I could, but basically kept cool.
She offered to pay our lunch/cocktail bill.
My old self would have foolishly denied her
offer---thinking I was the man, thinking I
was being chivalrous (how foolish ;). This
time I accepted without hesitation. Once
back at my place I used the start and stop
technique. I would get her hot, then I
would back off. She would stop my hand from
reaching too far so I decided that I wasn't
going to push it and that tonight might not
be "the night" with her so I was very
relaxed. At 10:00 she was getting ready to
leave. We started making out while saying
goodbye----next thing I know , we were in
the bedroom. It was amazing. The fun lasted
all night. Today I am tired with a smile on
my face. I know it worked out because I put
the proper groundwork in place. By turning
my sexual advances on and then off-----it
really got to her. Acting as if I was
evaluating her...the whole thing. Thank you
for pointing me in the right direction, I am
starting to get it!!! Literally ;)
Calli,
Fort
Lauderdale, Fl
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
Yeah, you
really are starting to GET IT.
And you are
RIGHT ON.
This stuff
takes practice and real-world experience
using it before you really "get it".
Too many guys
are just too damned overly-analytical, and
want to know how to do EVERYTHING before
they do ANYTHING.
I used to be
this way... and it cost me a lot of time and
energy.
It's so
amazing to actually get out there and SEE
results right in front of your eyes. It gets
you excited and willing to try more
things... and it prepares you for the
future... for situations that are REALLY
important.
Get out there
and use this stuff.
Start NOW.
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***QUESTION***
Dave,
What does it
mean when a woman says she wants to "work
on herself" before she can have a
relationship?
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
The literal
translation for this is:
"I DON'T FEEL
ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
TELL YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY
BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS."
Any of the
following:
"I need time
alone right now."
"I
need to find me first."
"Let's just be
friends for now."
...etc. mean:
"I DON'T FEEL
ATTRACTION."
That's the
bottom line.
The problem is
YOU, not HER.
Don't be
surprised if this same girl either IS or
STARTS dating another guy seriously soon.
If you're
hearing this kind of thing often, then you
need to take it as a sign that you're not
triggering ATTRACTION inside of women...
and, more importantly, that you need to
LEARN HOW.
I
recommend my Advanced Dating Techniques
Program.
This will help eliminate these types of
comments from women once and for all.
Here, let me
brag for a minute...
I'm sitting
here thinking about it, and I can't remember
a woman saying one of these things to me in
YEARS.
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***SUCCESS
STORY***
Hey Dave,
Blah blah
blah, I shamelessly compliment you, you feel
like a deity... there we're done.
Your book
would be worth it's weight in gold, even if
it were made of lead! I stumbled onto your
site by accident. A month before, I was
Let's Just BeFriended for being "too nice",
and this was with an UGLY thing too! eh... I
was desperate. I actually laughed at those
"losers" for getting slapped on the arm and
called a**hole, and later, I thought the
chicks were idiots for dating them!! I'm
better now. After reading your book it was
like the heavens were parted and g*d
HIMself bitch slapped the wuss right out of
me! Thanks.
Not only am I
getting slapped, bitten, chewed on, and
fought over, I am LOVING it too! Just the
other day I was in a bookstore, and an old
friend (read "hot chick") of mine came in,
I thought, 'hey I am here just being my new
self, lets try something', so I walked over
to her, said hi, and then said "I didn't
expect to see a beautiful young woman here"
she said "aww that's so sweet" (read "you
wussy") but then I did something that has
been working really well for me, I busted
on her. I said "maybe I still will" Slap on
arm, AND big smile. She was wearing this
rather large skirt with ruffles, so I said
"wow... I didn't know the parachute look
was still in" while obviously staring at
it. Another slap on arm, this time
laughing. Later she asked if I got my hair
cut (I hadn't) she said it "whatever it is,
its really attractive." There is this
coffee shop in the store, so we had
"stimulating conversation" a little while
went by, and she asked me to go to her car
with her, so she could "show me a new piece
of art." well needless to say, we are still
"appreciating art" together, and its been
two months!
So the
question is... Will complimenting the ladies
then busting on whatever I just
complimented work the same as if not
complimenting at all?
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
Ah, one of my
favorites...
Giving a woman
a compliment, then putting a backhanded
twist on it.
"Wow, your
shoes are cute. Did you buy them new?"
"Your hair is
pretty. Did your mom do it for you?"
"Nice car. If
you're homeless."
Pick up any
modern men's magazine and you'll get a bunch
of good ideas for this type of thing.
Cocky & Funny
can be very powerful once you learn how to
use it. Great example, and thank you.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, I
have been reading your emails and have
purchased your ebook and have read and
studied from both. I would 'study' areas I
felt I was weak in or would that be wussy
in, to improve, naturally, but would read
everything for as much knowledge as I could
absorb. Well, I have a success story but
with a slight twist to it. The twist is my
success was due to playing off of 2 other
guys' failures.
I went to a
club in a part of town I normally do not go
to. Not that it is a bad part of town I
just never thought of going there. I went
by myself, so on my own, no one for moral
support, in a place I have never been
before. Talk about giving your ideas the
acid test, this was going to be it. I was
looking down at the dance floor getting into
the music and noticed behind me two girls
sitting at a table. I then noticed 2 guys
approach and one started to talk to one of
the girls. The other guy was just standing
there looking at girl #2 trying to get up
the nerve to say something, from what I
could tell, since I was that way myself in a
not so distant past. I just turned away
and didn't pay much attention but after 10
mins or so the same guy talking to girl #1
is not making any headway. Guy 2 still had
his wuss game going so no change there. I
decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted
to get her attention and interest, as well.
So I leaned over and said, "While that guy
is trying to hustle your friend, whom, I
might he is not doing very well, would you
like to dance?" Well, this girl just
cracked up laughing, she did not want to
dance but did want to talk more. She went
on to say that there is nothing he could say
or do at this point to make her want to
dance or go out with him. He just doesn't
get it, she said. I went on to say I know
it is crowded and a bit loud here but one
should understand NO easy enough. She
agreed and went on to mention how much of a
loser his friend is just standing there. I
then remembered a statement someone used in
an email of yours and thought I would use
it myself. I said to girl #2 "what's that
smell, do you smell that?" She replies,
"What smell?" I said, "The smell of
desperation." Well, Dave, that girl
laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. I
helped her up and when she told me she had
to tell her girl friend that and when she
leaned over to talk to her I just turned
away and went back to looking at the people
dancing.
After a bit
this girl came up to me and said look at
those losers they are just standing on the
dance floor while people are dancing around
them. They did look pretty pathetic. We
talked a bit and I asked her name but I did
not quite understand it since she was Latin
and had a Latin name I could not make out
what she said, what with all the loud music
and noise. Just then some friends of hers
and her girl friend's came in and she
started to talk to them so again I just
turned away and watched people on the dance
floor. After a bit she came back and
grabbed my arm and said come on I want to
introduce you to my friends. After she
introduces everyone to me I turn to her and
ask what was your name again? Is it
ludicrous? She just busted up laughing
again and tried to tell me her name again.
By now, she is holding my hand and we
started dancing right there. We talked a
bit and I told her she has to write her name
down so I can pronounce correctly when I
call her. She say's, "Call me?" I said,
"Yes, since you are writing your name down
you might as well give me your number. How
else am I going to call you? Oh, and if
you have email you might as well give me
that also."
She said, that
it was cool meeting me and gave me a hug and
kiss. She then went back to her friends
and I just turned away and called it a
night.
It may not
have been nice to use the 2 guys wuss
behavior to my advantage but it worked.
N from Miami
Beach
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
LOL... so you
went off secretly to a bar alone... hoping
that no one would see you testing the
materials out for yourself... lol.
Yeah, sometimes
it's rough when other guys act like Wussy
Jackasses...
But hey, it
makes your life easier and more fun!
So what the
hell, right?
I have to say,
one of my personal favorite things to do
with women I've just met is make fun of how
other guys are acting.
It's
particularly fun in these bar-type
situations, where you can watch one
interaction after another.
Most guys suck
at approaching women, and it makes for great
humor and conversation.
Of course,
talking about how terrible other guys are
INSTANTLY separates you from the herd, and
kind of puts you in the "NON-WUSS" category
all by itself.
Another
personal favorite of mine is to tell a girl
that she should get together with one of the
guys that is acting like a jackass.
"I think you
and that Wuss-Boy over there would make a
cute couple. He looks like he needs a mom
like you to tell him what to do..." etc.
You've done a
great job here, now keep it up.
And thanks for
the great example. Always remember in these
situations that a big scoop of COCKY & FUNNY
will make things go well.
In this
Mailbag you've heard from a lot of guys who
are using my eBook "Double Your Dating" to
improve their success with women and dating.
It comes with three additional free bonus
booklets, and it's a complete introduction
to my principles and techniques. Of course,
it also comes with a 100% guarantee. Go
download your copy here... you can be
reading it in literally a few minutes from
right now. And be sure to sign up for my
free newsletter while you're at it. You can
do both here:
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________________________________________
David
DeAngelo is the author of "Double
Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know
About How To Be Successful With Women",
and has taught thousands of men how to be
more successful with women and dating.
__________________________________________________
Copyright
2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All
Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and
"Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by
David DeAngelo Communications Inc.